Post Grad Life- 10 Months Out
I remember graduating college like it was yesterday; my friends and I on our college football field, throwing our caps in the air while multi-colored confetti fell over us. I had just secured a job in publishing which was set to start in 2 weeks, I was in a long-term relationship with the man of my dreams, consistently working out, nothing could be more perfect. I had my sh*t together.
And yet, here I am, my sh*t not at all being together.
I’m single after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship, I’m struggling to keep up at work, and it’s a pain to get myself to go to the gym even once a week these days. I thought that having graduating college, moving out of my parent’s place, and having an adult job would make me…well, an adult. I mean, with at least 21 years of experience in life you would think they have all the answers at that point, right? Unfortunately, as 1 month post college me found out, that is very much not the case. After the new job high left my system, I started getting thoughts like, “Wow I have no clue what I just got asked to do right now” or “woah, it’s not so easy to make friends here.” After those thoughts swirled my mind at work, I would go home crying over the fact that my ex hadn’t texted me in days. I would make excuses for myself to not go to the gym just so I can lay in bed and rot. I felt awful, and not very adult like.
Fast forward a few months and although I’m not perfect, I’m doing better. I’m completely over that old relationship and starting to date again, getting more comfortable with my work duties, and even going to the gym weekly (only once a week now but hey, that’s a start!) Here are 5 tips that helped me to get out of that post-grad funk:
Keep your life organized
You will never begin to understand how much power a notebook and a digital calendar have on how effectively you can do your work until you miss it. I had used Google Calendar and Goodnotes, a note-taking app, from high school and all throughout college. I had briefly used it the first few weeks at my job, but decided to abandon it after seeing no one else in the office doing the same thing.
Since I switched from this work style, a system that I had gotten extremely comfortable with over the past 8 years, to the clunky Outlook calendar integrated by the company and a good old pen and paper, I was struggling to stay organized (who would have thought!). Assignments would be forgotten, I never got around to following up with clients, and my brain would feel so cluttered. That was until I picked up the book Building A Second Brain by Tiago Forte where he discusses how important note-taking, or “your second brain”, is when it comes to clearing your mind.
After reading the book I went back to my old effective note taking routine, which after a few weeks has already done wonders for clearing my mind and my task list.
So what’s the takeaway here? You MUST develop an effective organizational strategy, but make sure to develop one that works for YOU. It might take a few months, dropping Google Docs for Microsoft Word, changing from Notion to a good old note pad, or even realizing you don’t have to change anything at all. The right organization system is different for everyone so be sure to find one that’s a right fit for you.
Don’t overthink things
I spent months convinced that I was failing at work, paranoid that my manager’s small points of feedback meant I did an awful job. After a few months I couldn’t take it anymore, and asked her “what can I do better at this job” and they assured me I’m “doing more than enough”.
If you tend to be overly critical of yourself, remember to take a step back and instead of hyper-focusing on the things you've done wrong, think about everything you do well at your job, and from what you actually do wrong, take it as a learning lesson and move on.
Work isn’t your entire life
This one is a tough one to accept, especially since all of the frat boys on TikTok advocate for “hustle culture”, waking up at 3am to maximize their day. If you make work the center of your life, you risk losing close connections with friends and family. According to the book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware, the second biggest regret people have later in life is “I wish I hadn't worked so hard”. Take this as a reminder that although you might get ahead at work now by canceling a night out with friends or ignoring that call from mom.
In order to make this easier for yourself, schedule regular time for friends and family, even if it's just a quick Facetime chat. It’s important to remember that your career is just one aspect of your life, not the entire picture.
Daily exercise (any form of it) will make you happier
As I mentioned, I started slacking off of workouts shortly after starting work. I noticed that the less I was working out, the more irritable and anxious I was. Even after working all day and feeling exhausted, I still felt like I had so much anxious energy built up which made me feel awful. So I decided that even if I didn't have the energy to go to the gym, I commit to walking for at least 30 minutes a day. Even on my busiest days, I was able to commit to a short walk on my lunch breaks, which significantly improved my mood and energy levels. Whether it's hitting the gym or taking a stroll in the park, prioritize physical activity to boost your overall well-being.
Remember, you’re still young!
It might feel like what you’re doing now is going to be what you're doing for the rest of your life, but that’s far from the truth. Working with authors has shown me that it's never too late to pivot, pursue new passions, or further your education. Instead of fearing the unknown, embrace the excitement of shaping your own future.Know that you will always have the power of creating your future.
As we tackle the ups and downs of post-grad life, it's important to keep in mind that you can only grow when you confront your challenges. Keep your schedule in check, silence the negative self-talk , keep in touch with your friends, squeeze in some exercise, and roll with the changes. To my fellow recent grads: keep pushing, stay open to new adventures, and remember, the best is yet to come!
